Somebody please fix my brain :)

So, its been awhile and I haven't been all that great in my journey. I have been up and down with the last few lbs, currently I'm down, but my official weigh in isn't until tomorrow, so I won't count it just yet! So, when I ask for someone to fix my brain, I am totally serious. I mean, I went and got this surgery to help assist me with my weight loss goals, but yet at every corner I make decisions that ultimately hamper those goals. Why, oh why, can't I just give up the alcoholic concoctions that are hindering my weight loss? Why, oh why, can't I stop eating some of the sweets and things that are hindering my weight loss. For some reason, I am maintaining my current weight loss, but I think that's purely because for the last few weeks I have made sure to get my walks in every day! If not for that, I'm sure I'd be up. I was really happy a few weeks back when I felt like I had good restriction, but as of today, I am again able to eat more than I should be able to eat, so that isn't helping either.  I set up an appointment to discuss my issues with the nursing team and also scheduled another fill for 7/2. I really hope I get to the green zone soon because this is soooo hard. I know everyone says not to compare yourself to anyone else, but it is hard to see so many people losing so much more. I am very happy with what I have lost so far and for the fact that I have so many more clothes that fit, but I really need help with this thing called summer and BBQ's and beverages...lol. I have tried switching to non-alcoholic beverages like the Crystal Light Mojito, Margarita and Appletini mixes, but it just doesn't feel the same. I guess I am just on a rant and need to kick myself in the butt, but if any of you are close by, I wouldn't mind a kick in the "arse" from some of you as well...hope you all are doing better than me!

Ughhh...I suck at being good!

Sooo...today I weighed  in and am up 1.5 lbs from last Friday. I haven't been drinking. I only have had 1 glass of wine in 2 weeks, so I'm hoping to attribute it to my "Pyramid" as my girl calls that time of the month...lol...oh well...gotta get back up and push on. I've been walking everyday this week and need to just be better with the "slider" type of foods. I don't think I'm paying enough attention to that, so here goes again!!! Have a great week everyone!

Well..well...well...is this what some restriction feels like?

So, I'm not sure if I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be or if I hit my "green zone" or not, but let me tell you this...I have eaten very little and feel pretty well satisfied so I think I may just be there! I didn't have breakfast, somehow I drank my coffee and made it to lunch without being hungry. I know having something is important and on most days i do, but I just didn't feel like it today. By lunchtime I was starving, so I made a small sandwich (yes bread!), and didn't know if I would get stuck or not, but didn't. I only ate 3/4 of it and gave the rest to my hubby as I was full!! That never happens, so I don't know if its a fluke or if I'm there! I really hope I'm there because I travel 1.5 hours each way for a fill, so if I was there it would be fab! On another note, I made it through the first day of the weekend without a alcoholic beverage..go me! Today and tonight are going to be a test though, as I have a party.  I also was asked to bring a dessert, the famous Blonde Brownies....so I need to try to steer clear of eating them too! Well..enough rambling...hope you guys are doing good!

6/1/12 Weigh In - :)

Soooooo...I was absolutely horrible over the Memorial Day weekend. We had lots of BBQ's and lots of alcoholic beverage consumption. I ate a burger w/bun, dog w/ bun, steak, corn on the cob, pasta salad, rice & beans, fried bananas and just about anything else I could get my hands on throughout the weekend. I also consumed bloody mary's, beer, smirnoff ice, margaritas, shots, etc. What a way to spend the weekend! Anyway, was pretty pissed at myself for going back to old habits, so kicked myself in the butt on Monday. I stepped up the walking, water, and got back to eating correctly, and guess what???? I am down 3 lbs as of 6/1...woooo hoooo! So, with that said, I am now 33 lbs down since January. I'll take it :) Hope all of you have a great week as well!

HELPPPP!!!!

I used to be able to "follow" other banders blogs by clicking on a word "follow" up in the left portion of the screen; however, I no longer see that. Does anyone know how I can follow others now????

5th Fill

So, since the last time I had posted, I noticed that I was staying full longer and not able to eat as much at one sitting, but it only lasted for about a week, so today I went for my 5th fill. They gave me an additional .5 cc's, so I now have 7 cc's total in a 10 cc band. I think I notice something already because when I left I had a berry chiller (something like the consistency of a slushy) and I could feel something and its just ice and juice, so I can't wait until I start eating regular food to see how it works. I was doing really well last week and as of 05/25, I had lost a couple of lbs that I had put on so I'm now 30 lbs down. That's an average of 7.5 lbs a month, and I'll take it! This past weekend, however, with it being Memorial Day, I ate lots of stuff and drank lots of alcoholic (empty calorie) beverages, so I was up a few lbs this morning, but since I had my fill today and couldn't eat anything all day...I think I may have taken a bit of that off.  I just couldn't believe that I was able to eat rice, hot dogs, hamburgers, rolls, even steak without any problems at all!  I am pretty sure I am focusing on the whole chewing aspect more, so maybe that's why, but I also was able to eat large portions...ughhhh!  I have decided to try to test myself to see if I can go until 4th of July without drinking. I am going to need all the support in the world on that one, since we go to many many social gatherings which seem to focus around food/drink.  Somehow I have to learn that my weight loss is more important than a drink! On that topic, I can also still drink carbonated beverages, including beer! No problems whatsoever...anyone else able to drink beer? I realize I am all over the place on this post, but my mind keeps jumping around, so hope you can bear with me :) Let me know how you are doing...I would love to hear!  Oh and here's a picture of me from 05/19/12 with my friend Nicole!

MIA & 4th Fill

OK...OK...I've been absent awhile and I here that as a blogger when you are absent you are just supposed to skip that part...lol. Apparently, that isn't me because I feel it necessary to apologize for not being on here more. Actually, I am on here reading others blogs but haven't been keeping up with my own..and I think that is because I have been a bit bad and haven't wanted to face that fact. As if somehow, by not writing it I wouldn't have to be held accountable for it. Well...truth is, that is a big bunch of SH** :) So...here I am and I'm back to give you an update since my 3rd fill. Well,I realized after my 3rd fill that I felt no difference at all...how frustrating! I could still eat anything I wanted...steak, bread, etc...ughhh! I really hoped I would feel something because I am already 3 months out of surgery and still had no restriction at all, which is really hard on the mind. So...I called up and got "another" fill scheduled for May 8th.  I was able to talk them into giving me 1 cc, instead of .5cc. I really hate that I  have to "talk" them into giving me what I really need, but I guess they are trying to make sure I am not overfilled. So anyway, between the 3rd and 4th fills I had gained significantly because I wasn't paying attention to anything that was going in my mouth.  However, as of this past weekend after the fill I did begin to notice something. I do get full a bit quicker and cannot eat certain things, so I may have some sort of restriction going on. I noticed I can't eat certain types of bread at this point, and white meat chicken causes a bit of pain when going down unless I chew very thoroughly. I also notice that unless I chew really good, rice hurts going down. So, I am assuming that I have something going on and am going to give it a little while to see if it helps. I am going to set up a 5th fill for the beginning of June because I don't think I'm quite where I am supposed to be in the "green zone". So, as of today I am now only down 22 lbs, but I do feel better and am doing better with the exercise, so now its all about maintaining brain control, and not go back to mindless eating. I am trying to pay attention to the signs of real hunger versus head hunger.  Does anyone else go from 0 to hungry?? I was talking to my husband and saying how I wasn't hungry at all when we normally eat dinner, and then like 15 minutes later I was starving...what the ???  Anyway, I will try to be more proactive and get on here more to keep you updated...whoever you may be...lol. Good luck in your journeys as well!